u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
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I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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