Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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