turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize