is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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