Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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