You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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