cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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