Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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