and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize