i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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