This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize