i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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