We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize