Me. At least after what I've been through.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize