Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
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I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
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All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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