I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize