I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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