Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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