I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
please don't ironically join a cult
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