Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize