There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize