just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize