Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize