Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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