Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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