I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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