apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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