She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You're like the curious george of whores
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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