Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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