I learned to sign I want to be on you today
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Deaf chicks here I come
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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