Porn is love you can see.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Every concussion has its silver lining
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize