i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people are normalizing furries
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize