Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize