I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize