"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize