i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
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Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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