you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize