I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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