Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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