i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize