you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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