No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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