Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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