once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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