Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
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sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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