I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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