sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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