You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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