OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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