Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This toilet bowl is my home.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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